Saturday, 30 December 2017

KISS and CRAZY NIGHTS: The record used to convict an entire generation of music production


Years before I could ever have called myself an engineer (No I don't use quotes, I earned my stripes) when I was about 10 years old in the late 80's I bought a record by my favorite band KISS called CRAZY NIGHTS


My 10-year-old ears were so highly offended by what I heard that I couldn't even pretend to like it (Like I had to pretend to like every KISS record AFTER Music From The Elder....couldn't stand the crappy "Hey we don't wear make-up and now we play heavy metal!" version of the band) but I digress...

...I GUSHED over the sounds of the 1970's version (We wear makeup and play Power-pop with the occasional disco tune thrown in for fun) Version of KISS, Bob Ezrin's "Destroyer" or "The Elder" Eddie Kramers "Rock n' Roll over" or "Love gun" Neal Bogart's (He wasn't even a producer, he was the label president, they couldn't afford to hire one at that point) Dressed to kill, Vini Poncia (It was ALMOST Morodor, but KISS woudn't wait for him) "Dynasty" and "Unmasked"


I also loved my first wave American and British Punk, The Sex Pistols Never Mind the Bollocks, The Dammed's Dammed Dammed Dammed, Both New York Dolls record's The Ramones first 4 record's (And I actually think Spector did a good job on the fifth, but I'll admit it sounds DIFFERENT) Bob Clearmountain's Original Mix of The Dead Boys "Young Loud and Snotty" Iggy and the Stooges RAW POWER

David Bowie Alladin Sane/Ziggy/Diamond Dogs, The Rolling Stones "Some Girls" "Emotional Rescue" "Undercover" I even love "Dirty work" 

But something happened when KISS made CRAZY NIGHTS and the Stones made STEEL WHEELS


I didn't know what it was but the difference was NIGHT AND DAY, 

All those records's I mentioned SOUNDED a certain way, they DID something

That something was GONE on CRAZY NIGHTS and STEEL WHEELS and it wasn't just inferior songwriting....

as a 10 year old I could hear it plain as day, even though I had no idea what the difference was

Those records along with the other gutless sounding records being released around that time were recorded..........can you guess?........I bet you can!
DIGITALLY!!!!!!!


I could tell something was wrong at 10 years of age so don't tell me that I'm nostalgic for record's that were made before I was born......those new record's sounded BAD

Neith KISS or the Stones would be caught dead using ANYTHING but 2" tape in 2017 and both groups have said so.......maybe they don't know much about records either? Not as much as you anyway.


Just like the first time I heard an analog synth I nearly soiled myself, the difference isn't small, the difference is HUGE!

Preamps, Mics, Guitars, Synths, Tape yes these things sound different and make all the difference in the world.

The problem with you 80's engineers is all you cared about was FIDELITY you cared about it more than the music you were recording, so all you guys LOVE C.D's sooooo much and think digital's pristine highs are just to die for


That whole generation of engineers have their head up one giant collective ass, they were raised trying to eliminate tape's imperfections, which were, in fact, AWESOME, chasing something NO ONE CARED ABOUT BUT THEM

Then when the world turned to them and said, "Hey guys! These records you are making suck! what happened to that tape machine we used to use" you threw one big collective tantrum, I see it in every thread where a kid asks about buying his first tape machine

There are 4 80's engineers in there within minutes trying to talk him out of it

Face it guys, you failed,
Fidelity sucks and the world knows it


The "engineers" as you patronizingly call them HAVE learned to KNOW WHAT THEY LIKE as you put it, but you are wrong about one thing, it isn't some delusional nostalgia (Look in the mirror for that) that makes them seek the sounds they do, it's the fact that unlike your generation of engineers

THEIR EARS DON'T LIE TO THEM

Monday, 25 December 2017

KISS the band with too many fans who HATE their music






Merry "Let's put the X in X-mas" everyone!


I thought I'd offer a brief diatribe on those, who having found KISS records under the tree this year (Who the hell buys C.D's anymore? Vynal lives to win!) Are asking that dreaded question, that has haunted the band and pissed off the people who actually like their music for as long as the band has been making it.

"Hmmm....KISS record....is it HEAVY ENOUGH?"


These are the people who say Hotter than Hell. Creatures and Revenge are the best records but can't seem to acknowledge that those are 3 of KISS's worst selling records, and the people who say they are so good, never bought any of them, and really never liked KISS's music, to begin with. These are the fans who were along for the fire-breathing blood spitting and (truth be told) are fans of the bands show and only tolerate its music. Heavy Metal fans have held this band back its whole career. Can you think of any other band whose every record release is greeted by a chorus of "Is it heavy enough? It sucks! It's not Heavy enough!" NO OTHER BAND IS CONSTANTLY QUESTIONED as to whether their records are heavy enough. This is a band whose first two songs from the first record Strutter and Nothing to lose sound like a Rolling Stones song followed by a little Richard song, but music fans who attended the bombastic shows loved the look.. they wished they were hearing Black Sabbath or Deep Purple instead of The Rolling Stones, New York Dolls, Ramones with guitar solos band they heard.

THAT is why the records didn't sell those "fans" NEVER liked KISS's music and always wished they were a metal band, they wern't and when they tried to be, they sucked (Lick it up, Anamalyze) if KISS had stayed closer to the NY punk scene instead of heading out on the road after 3 gigs, I think they would have appealed to the Blondie, Ramones, Richard Hell and the voidoid's, Johnny Thunders crowd (who they ALL knew anyway, but those bands hung around New York and played clubs, while KISS was out on the road) We would have seen a much more musically comfortable KISS, without any mid-west meat-head always asking:"Is it heavy enough? Does it sound like Sabbath?" I wish those people would leave a band alone that they never liked to begin with.


It's enough to drive a fan of the band's MUSIC to start "liking the taste of alcohol"


So let me answer the question for you, you mulleted (Non-ironic Mullet, I should add) knuckle-dragging, "play Exiter! Play "I've had enough (into the fire) shouting, Mom's basement living genetic misprint....

NO! IT'S A KISS RECORD! THEY PLAY ROCK N' ROLL! GET YER FIX O' CRAPPY METAL ELSEWHERE......


....Goddamn Mark St. John Loving dummy....put on some damn deodorant too...

Go play the new Jackson guitar you got for X-mas and leave this Rock N' Roll band ALONE